"What a man is frightened of, more than anything else in the vast possibilities of living experience, is dependency, regression to a state in which he becomes an infant in the care of his mother - a mother later unconsciously symbolized by almost all women with him he comes in contact."

Paul Olsen, Sons and Mothers, p. 41.

What do you think?

When I was growing up, I wore blue jeans everyday.

I wore jeans to school. I wore jeans around the farm. I don't remember what brand they were but GWC sticks out in my mind. I don't remember Levis or Wranglers in those days in the early Fifties.

Blue jeans were the stock of the life of a country farm boy where I grew up. I think all of us wore blue jeans.

When I went to High School, my mother decided that maybe I should have 'dress up' pants. I remember she took me shopping and we bought come corduroys. They were uncomfortable - they felt wierd. Gradually I wore other dress slacks to school.

I have to confess that I rarely blue jeans these days, if I do it is to work around the house.

I am aware that according to the media, blue jeans are supposed to make you manly. There is a perception in those ads with the guys hanging out after work in their Levis and with their favorite brew in their hands, that they are 'real' men.

Is it that easy? What do you think? Do you think you are more masculine because you wear blue jeans? Do you think the man in your life is more masculine because he wears denims?

(c) Ronald Friesen 2008

"Clearly, the church, both conservative and liberal, is manifestly concerned about these important issues, each of which essentially demands a change in male behavior. Yet meanwhile-can it be mere coincidence?-relatively few men actually participate in church life. Often less than half of a church's members are men. In fact, over half of the students in the old-line denominational church seminaries today are women, and that figure is increasing.

There is, however, one major institution today in which those figures are reversed, which draws a far greater percentage of men than women: prisons. Why are so many men in prison and so few in church?

Clearly, the answer lies within the tear in the masculine soul, which the churches have largely ignored, which the prisons can house but not heal."

Gordon Dalbey, Healing the Masculine Soul: How God Restores Men to Real Manhood, p. xxv.

"There is a 'tear' in the masculine soul - a gaping hole or wound that leads to a profound insecurity. The German psychologist, Alexander Mitscherlich, has written that society has torn the soul of the male, and into this tear demons have fled - demons of insecurity, selfishness, and despair. Consequently, men do not know who they are as men. Rather, they define themselves by what they do, who they know, or what they own."

Ted Dobson, "Healing the Tear in the Masculine Soul", SCRC Vision (April 1985)

Complete this sentence: "I am ________________________________."

(c) 2008 Ronald Friesen

I am reading "Healing the Masculine Soul: How God Restores Men to Real Manhood" by Gordon Dalbey.

I did a little internet research. I found that there is no current blog which appears to address this issue. I suspect that there are a few Christian sites that contain a section on 'Men's issues', however, there is no direct link to these sites from the outside.

I am going to post thoughts, quotes and ideas about the brokenness which we as men face. I am also going to post GOOD NEWS for our brokenness - I want this to be a place of healing.

To the Women: I realize you are going to stop by. You are welcome to read and contribute postively to the discussion. You may want to encourage the man or men in your life to stop by and read and comment as they feel lead.

I know that men are notorious for not wanting to read. Actually I think that this is a misconception about men. What most men won't read is lengthy essays. With this in mind, the posts will be brief. I hope you find them thought-provoking and most of all, healing.

Welcome to the journey of healing our manly souls.