I am writing this during the week of Valentine celebration in US. This is the week that romance, intimacy, and love are celebrated in western civilization. During this week many men find themselves trying to figure out, 'Is it roses my wife likes?' or 'What kind of chocolates does she enjoy?'

Meanwhile, many men find themselves trying to figure out who they are. The culture sends confusing messages: real men enjoy sports, real men spend time with their famiies, real men make big salaries, real men end their workday with a Coors in their hand, real men give big presents.

So who is a real man? Where is the heart of a man to be discovered?

Actually the 'new men's movement' launched by Robert Bly, Sam Keen and others in the early 1990s says that the real man is all of the above.

Contrary to the common misconception that men are inadequate (which is what the older men's movment proclaimed), these men are men in their own right who understand their role and place in society.

I would say that real men know their wives (or significant other's) tastes, they work hard, they play hard, they are men of faith and they love their families with all their heart.

Is it easy to balance all of these? No.

One of the reasons it is difficult to follow through on these ideals is that we have not had to role models to show us how to do these things well. (I will address this in another blog.)

Meanwhile, have a Happy Valentine's Day.

(c) 2008 Ronald Friesen