"We are a society without a father, and a nation of men who have a hole in their psyches because their fathers were not there." Jack Balswick, Men at the Crossroads: Beyond Traditional Roles & Modern Options, InterVarsity Press, 1992, p. 40)

Sociologists blame the advent of the modern industrial era as the cause of the above evaluation. While there is a lot truth to this connection, you didn't have to grow up with 'Lunchbox Larry' as a father who went to the mill everyday to experience the above reality.

I grew up on a Canadian farm in the 50s and 60s. My father was an agribusinessman who believed that he needed to 'save the family farm'. His work of salvation lead him to become a traveling executive for the Canadian agribusiness community.

Beginning when I was about 12, my father left our home every Monday to fly a plane to eastern Canada to go to weeklong meetings. He returned on Fridays (and sometimes Saturdays). When he came home he was too busy catching up with his farm business to spend time with me and my siblings. My father was very successful at what he did. When he died our family received letters of condolences from the Prime Minister of Canada and down.

Meanwhile, my father missed my teen years and I missed my father.

About the time my oldest son was 12 I was recruited for a national position with a church organization. The office for job was based in Kansas, however, I would not be required to relocate. After I was offered the position, I checked with the person who had just left the position after about 10 years. He told me that while they may be telling me that the job was about 40% travel/60% home it really was the opposite. There were days, he told me, when his wife met him at the airport in Phoenix, he gave her his suitcase of dirty clothes and she gave him a suitcase of clean clothes. Upon hearing that, I turned down the job offer. The result was that I didn't miss any of my son's ball games for four years!

I have spent many years in groups learning to deal with my father-wound. I am still healing.

2008 (c) Ronald Friesen